It's one of those days at the office. I always know it's getting bad when I start fantazing ways to kill myself with office supplies. I could make a noose of paper clips, for example, and hang myself from the doorway. Or I could go the Sylvia Plath route and stick my head in the oven. Either way, it would at least give me something to do.
And speaking of death, do you ever imagine death scenarios of your own? Sometimes when I am walking down a flight of stairs my mind is suddenly flooded with images of myself tripping and tumbling down the steps, leaving me in a tangled, broken heap. Or occasionally when I am driving on the interstate, I just know a tire is going to blow on my car and send me skidding across four lanes of traffic. So far I've been wrong. Thankfully.
I had an experience last night that brought a fresh, new death scenario to my mind. After 25 years of being a firm believer in avoiding skin cancer by NOT trying to be Ms. Tropical USA, I (gasp!) WENT TO A TANNING BED. I know, I know, I can't believe it either. But I'm just so pale, and I miss summer, and the winter has left me feeing washed out. Let's face it, I look like a sheet of copy paper. As my sister often says to me, "Casper called, and he wants his skin back." So off I went to HotSpot Tanning Salon in a desperate attempt to put some color back into my skin.
Needless to say, I was nervous. Was this going to give me skin cancer? Did I put on enough lotion? Finally I convinced myself that going once was surely not going to give me cancer and that I was going to be ok. Besides, I'd be getting in some vitamin D, right?
I went inside and selected my bed. The girl at the front desk took one look at me before deciding to put me in for only 5 minutes, saying, "You don't want to go for the full time, right?!" (It's a 10 minute bed). She was right. I went back to the room, put my little goggles on-don't want to lose my color vision- and got in. As the heat washed over me, I thought, this is actually kind of nice. Not bad at all. Until I suddenly remembered a story I had heard in high school about a girl who had gone to a tanning bed so much, that she literally COOKED her insides. (Pretty sure this is fictious, but scary nonetheless). As my body heat increased under the bed's bright lights, I just KNEW that I, too, was going to be burned alive. I knew that I was being ridiculous, though, and so I forced myself to count to 30 before jumping out early. And it's a good thing I did, too, because guess what? I have a mild sunburn. I guess being a living ghost isn't so bad after all. :)
In other news, my 5k went well. I ran the whole time and finished in 31 mintues. In two more weeks I am running another one and hope to get my time under 30 minutes. Somehow I missed seeing any animals at the zoo run, although my friends who ran it with me said they saw monkeys, cows, and a tiger. Figures!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Winter is making me fat
Warning: This post will be whiny. Read at your own risk!
I miss warm weather. I dream of long summer days, running after work in the park, swimming, playing tennis, being out on the lake, all the fun activities that come along with the most wonderful season of the year. In the summer, I am skinny and full of life. In the winter, I am not. Winter is making me fat.
In the winter, I cook fattening things like chili to warm myself up. In the winter, I watch more tv at night because it is already dark by the time I get off work and I cannot play outside. At the beginning of the winter, I am still my normal semi-svelte self. By January, I am wearing layers and scarves not just because it's cold out, but to cover my pooch. Winter is making me fat.
I will not accept this any longer. I will not let the cold defy me and cause me to have what my friend Katie refers to as, "secretary butt." Instead, I am going to learn to embrace the cold, bundle up, and get moving. Starting with my 5k run tomorrow. After all...swimsuit season is just around the corner!
I miss warm weather. I dream of long summer days, running after work in the park, swimming, playing tennis, being out on the lake, all the fun activities that come along with the most wonderful season of the year. In the summer, I am skinny and full of life. In the winter, I am not. Winter is making me fat.
In the winter, I cook fattening things like chili to warm myself up. In the winter, I watch more tv at night because it is already dark by the time I get off work and I cannot play outside. At the beginning of the winter, I am still my normal semi-svelte self. By January, I am wearing layers and scarves not just because it's cold out, but to cover my pooch. Winter is making me fat.
I will not accept this any longer. I will not let the cold defy me and cause me to have what my friend Katie refers to as, "secretary butt." Instead, I am going to learn to embrace the cold, bundle up, and get moving. Starting with my 5k run tomorrow. After all...swimsuit season is just around the corner!
Me at my last 5k on the 4th of July, when things were a lil bit sunnier. Vitamin water, anyone?!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Elephant on a trapeze and the ZOO RUN RUN!
Strange dreams continue (Two nights ago I was an elephant flying on a flying trapeze, floating along with the greatest of ease...) but I have not had to dial 9-11 anymore this week. I guess the elephant dream was fitting, considering where I will be going in a couple of weeks.
The insane asylum, you ask?
Nope, they're not quite ready to take me there yet. Hah! I am going to run a 5k hosted by the Nashville zoo, and I am so excited. My wonderful roommate (Known as BS) will be running it with me, and I was sharing some of the details about the race with her earlier today. Here is a snippet of our conversation, just because I found it so entertaining:
Me: "It says you can wear animal themed clothing, but long tails are discouraged due to the running nature of the race. Sorry girl, we're gonna have to leave the tails at home...
BS: What?! I cant wear a tail!!!??! Hahahaha. This is going to be better than Halloween seeing everyone dressed up and running. We should paint our faces!
Me: Oooh I love that idea! I want whiskers please!
BS: I mean mine will sweat off...yes! Whiskers! Meow!!
BS: And we can make all sorts of animal noises while running!
Me: HAH!
BAGOK!
chirp chirp
ooeeeah ah ah
(that was supposed to be a monkey)
I think we should RAWR across the finish line!"
So as you can see, this race is kind of a big deal. I mean...we get to run on back trails at the zoo and go places the public doesn't normally get to go. It's probably going to be one of the best days of our lives... or something like that. I wonder if the slow people will dress as turtles? Now that would be funny.
Anyway I gotta run. Off to find bunny ears and assorted animal print running gear...I wonder if Nike makes leggings in cheetah???
The insane asylum, you ask?
Nope, they're not quite ready to take me there yet. Hah! I am going to run a 5k hosted by the Nashville zoo, and I am so excited. My wonderful roommate (Known as BS) will be running it with me, and I was sharing some of the details about the race with her earlier today. Here is a snippet of our conversation, just because I found it so entertaining:
Me: "It says you can wear animal themed clothing, but long tails are discouraged due to the running nature of the race. Sorry girl, we're gonna have to leave the tails at home...
BS: What?! I cant wear a tail!!!??! Hahahaha. This is going to be better than Halloween seeing everyone dressed up and running. We should paint our faces!
Me: Oooh I love that idea! I want whiskers please!
BS: I mean mine will sweat off...yes! Whiskers! Meow!!
BS: And we can make all sorts of animal noises while running!
Me: HAH!
BAGOK!
chirp chirp
ooeeeah ah ah
(that was supposed to be a monkey)
I think we should RAWR across the finish line!"
So as you can see, this race is kind of a big deal. I mean...we get to run on back trails at the zoo and go places the public doesn't normally get to go. It's probably going to be one of the best days of our lives... or something like that. I wonder if the slow people will dress as turtles? Now that would be funny.
Anyway I gotta run. Off to find bunny ears and assorted animal print running gear...I wonder if Nike makes leggings in cheetah???
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
911 Nightmares
Recently I've been having 911 nightmares.
The first time it happened, I was at the house I grew up in. I was the age I am now, and I was home alone. It was daytime.
I peeked out the front door window at the mauve car that was coming up my long driveway, already feeling suspicious of the strange man driving it. I watched with baited breath as the car paused at the top of the drive, reversed, and made a 3 point turn (leaving tire marks in the grass) and drove back down. I breathed with relief. It was just someone turning around.
I went up to the room my sister and I shared for so many years. Then I saw the strange man coming back up the drive. He was getting out of his car. He was breaking down the door. He didn't think anyone was home. And when he found me, he was going to kill me.
I huddled in the small space between the wall and my sisters bed and dialed 9-11. The dispatcher answered. I couldn't think or speak. I couldn't remember my address. My mind raced as I thought, "1706?? no that's where I live now. 404...no no that's dad's new house....what is the address?!" The man was almost inside now. Finally, it came to me-799! Wake up time...5:12 a.m.
The next time it happened, I was driving past the hospital where I was born, and in the middle of the road they had placed a small roller-coaster like track that cars had to drive on. I watched as a car drove up onto the green tracks, completed the upside-down loop and came out the spiral turns and back onto the main road. So strange, I thought. Then came a motorcyle. A man was driving it, his girlfriend on the back. She was screaming at him to stop, she didn't want to drive through the coaster. He ignored her.
They were halfway up in the upside-down loop when a cord from the bike became caught in the lime green tracks. Both the guy and girl were screaming now. They were being run over inside the loop. I could hear the bike engine revving and see the blood dripping down.
I put my hands over my ears and turned away. I didn't want to see this. They were about to die. Then I thought, "Wait, what am I doing?! Call 9-11!" Wake up time-5:03 a.m.
What is causing my brain to conjure up these 9-11 scenarios? I'm a big believer in the meaning of dreams...I just wish I could figure out what the meaning of these dreams is. And I also wonder...what emergency will come tonight?
The first time it happened, I was at the house I grew up in. I was the age I am now, and I was home alone. It was daytime.
I peeked out the front door window at the mauve car that was coming up my long driveway, already feeling suspicious of the strange man driving it. I watched with baited breath as the car paused at the top of the drive, reversed, and made a 3 point turn (leaving tire marks in the grass) and drove back down. I breathed with relief. It was just someone turning around.
I went up to the room my sister and I shared for so many years. Then I saw the strange man coming back up the drive. He was getting out of his car. He was breaking down the door. He didn't think anyone was home. And when he found me, he was going to kill me.
I huddled in the small space between the wall and my sisters bed and dialed 9-11. The dispatcher answered. I couldn't think or speak. I couldn't remember my address. My mind raced as I thought, "1706?? no that's where I live now. 404...no no that's dad's new house....what is the address?!" The man was almost inside now. Finally, it came to me-799! Wake up time...5:12 a.m.
The next time it happened, I was driving past the hospital where I was born, and in the middle of the road they had placed a small roller-coaster like track that cars had to drive on. I watched as a car drove up onto the green tracks, completed the upside-down loop and came out the spiral turns and back onto the main road. So strange, I thought. Then came a motorcyle. A man was driving it, his girlfriend on the back. She was screaming at him to stop, she didn't want to drive through the coaster. He ignored her.
They were halfway up in the upside-down loop when a cord from the bike became caught in the lime green tracks. Both the guy and girl were screaming now. They were being run over inside the loop. I could hear the bike engine revving and see the blood dripping down.
I put my hands over my ears and turned away. I didn't want to see this. They were about to die. Then I thought, "Wait, what am I doing?! Call 9-11!" Wake up time-5:03 a.m.
What is causing my brain to conjure up these 9-11 scenarios? I'm a big believer in the meaning of dreams...I just wish I could figure out what the meaning of these dreams is. And I also wonder...what emergency will come tonight?
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